Do you love You?

How many times do we get asked ‘Do you love me?’

Sometimes it’s our wife, sometimes it’s our girl friend (or a special friend), sometimes it’s our children, and in some rare cases its our parents. As you fight the day to prove you do love them, here’s my question for you – Do you love ‘you?’

It’s a question important enough for you to answer.

To put on a smile on your love’s face, I see you putting on a frown through most part of your day. I know the usual saying, it’s worth it. But really, is it?

Why does it become okay for you to compromise on your dreams, your aspirations, your interests, your vices to create a ‘forced’ future for someone else?

Side Note:
Stop building a purpose for others if you cannot find yours.
If you cannot love yourself enough, you aren’t really loving others.

I’m sorry Honey

Everytime you came to me to complain about how difficult our Moms are being with you.
Everytime you talked to me about how frustrating it was to plan anything with our (difficult) friends.
Everytime you wanted to discuss your challenges of disciplining our chipmunks.
Everytime you made an attempt to discuss your problems with building OneSkin.

I am sorry for trying to solve your problems and not listening to you.

I lost my skill of being a good listener among the multiple journeys I embarked as an entrepreneur, consultant, speaker etc. I forgot the skill that was ingrained in to me (thanks to my early stint at Google) – the skill of saying and living it by every word, “I understand how you feel….”

Little do we realize that when people (friends, colleagues, family, etc) come to talk to us, 9 out of 10 times, they are coming to us, not for advise (surprise, surprise) but to get heard (what is also popularly referred to as ‘to get validation’).

All they want to hear from you is those 3 golden words – “I Hear You.”

I Hear You by Michael S Sorensen

Side Note: I haven’t been very successful in saying ‘I hear you.’ It might sound cliche but the truth is it is difficult (but not impossible). Like any other skill, ‘validation’ needs practice.

Religion over Country?

I don’t know if I am the only one who noticed it this Thursday when India was celebrating its 73rd Independence Day. I hardly got any individual messages or calls wishing me ‘Happy Independence Day.’ I wouldn’t have been harsh on this, if people at least treated 15th August as a festival (because I do get calls, individual messages and Whatsapp messages for Pongal, Diwali, Eid, Christamas and even for Onam).

“Instead, I believe that we treat Independence Day as a holiday – just like a Saturday or a Sunday but wishing it doesn’t come on the weekend.”

I am no historian or a hypocrite secular politician to talk to you about India, it’s history, it’s pride and how we need to act (not be) Indian. But the time ‘to really be’ is now more than ever before and it isn’t difficult. One small step makes all the difference. A step as small as calling your close ones and wishing them ‘Happy Independence Day.’ A step as small as buying sweets from the ‘mithai shop’ for Independence Day like you do for Diwali or Eid or Christmas or did this time around for Raksha Bandhan.

Side Note: The first step to change is to acknowledge the shortcomings. Ignore at your risk.

Death winked at Me

I got up from a nightmare (or so I thought) where death winked at me.

It was surreal with a beautiful girl (I am still not sure if I should count this as a dream or a nightmare) standing in a corner and waiting to grab my attention. When I did look at her, she had death written even in her smile.

After I got up, neither was I wasn’t able to shake it off (like my many other dreams) nor was I able to stop myself from pondering on these thoughts:

– Do I learn more or teach more?
– Do I speak more or listen more?
– Do I smile more or make others smile?
– Do I react more or I help more?
– Do I run ahead or walk slowly?
– Do I frown more or meditate more?
– Do I help businesses make more money or give my family more memories?
– Do I gulp multiples of scotch or drown myself in books and my articles?
– Do I reply to Whatsapp messages or pick up and call my old buddies?
– Do I watch a sitcom so I sound updated or watch my favorite Hrishikesh Mukherjee or Jandhyala’s movie?

I will pull myself up and find answers to these and many other similar questions but my question to all of you – ‘will you be lucky to get away with just a wink?’

Side Note: I always believed that you need to experience something to believe it and this was no different. The difference has to be in how I react to this now.

 

Fear of Losing

It could be very good for you. Let me explain by narrating a weird (and there is a reason, I call it weird) dream I had last night.

My wife was leaving me (reason unknown at least in the dream ;)) and I was trying everything possible to stop her. Tears were rolling down our eyes and it felt that both of us were living pain in whatever decisions we were taking/facing. I hanged on to the dream (in spite of the urge to get relief in the true reality) to see if I could get to the reason that was causing this pain to us but that did not help.

Now some context – my wife and I have been happily married and are still crazily in love with each other. But the moment I came out of the dream, I curled up to my wife and whispered ‘I love you a lot’ as slowly and deeply I could. It also set off a series of thoughts on how my life would change if she wasn’t with me.

The fear of losing her to anything will make me love her more, respect her more, hear her more and more importantly let her be her more.

Side Note: There is a reason I used ‘could’ in the first sentence. If you are losing your sleep (and dreams) for the wrong person/thing, its a start to a downturn.

Grain of Boldness

If you were to bring a grain of boldness in to everything that you do, how would the outcomes change?

Some obvious answers to this question would be:
– I would do better in my current role
– My team would be excited to surge forward
– I might reignite the passion in my personal life
– I might rethink about my startup idea(s)

In which case, the real question that you should find answer for is, “what stops you from bringing a grain of boldness in to things that I do?” Answer to this will be difficult but finding it will be worth it.

Side Note: The least that you would do is to have your meals on time!

Happy teacher’s Day

Some quotes that I wanted to share:
– Be your own teacher to understand the importance of Teacher’s Day.
– Behind every successful person, there is a selfless teacher.
– Kids are the best teachers to teach you about living.
– The simpler your Guru, the greater your learning.
– Too many Gurus have always spoiled the pupil.
– Teaching is the best gift you can give – to yourself.
– Preaching vs teaching – there are two parallel tracks that should never meet.
– Your Mom and Dad are your first teachers, not necessarily the best.

Side Note: Irrespective of a teacher being good or bad, there’s a hidden learning for sure. Grab it! 

Do leave your special quotes for this Teacher’s day in the comments!

The number 12

December 16th was my birthday and I gifted myself in terms of resolutions for the next 12 months:
– 12 books to give enough food to my cognitive mind

– 12 runs to get back to (my love for) running

– 12 badminton tournaments so I can better understand my 6-year-old champ

– 12 chapters to be penned for the book I intend to dedicate to the love of my life

– 12 pilgrimage trips with my Mom to get back to sharing her passion

– 12 relations (close to my heart) to nurture beyond my comfort zone

– 12 lakhs in sales for my startup OneSkin.in

– 12 scotch bottles (that I’ve not tasted until now)

– 12 kgs to lose and maintain status quo for the next 12 months

– 12 hours of meditation every month to better understand the world and me

Side Note: The whole point of coming up with this list was to bring back discipline into my life that seems to be going awry. How are you doing on your bucket list?

What is tripwire Marketing?

Something that caught my attention this week was Tripwire marketing and like many of you, any new process/framework being discussed in Internet marketing circles gets me excited.

So what’s Tripwire Marketing?
It is a simple 3 step approach that is centered around the intended customer behavior.

Step 1: Defining or modeling the desired customer behavior at your store (online or offline). Your content on the website or off the website leads people to explore your products on your website.
Step 2: Identifying any deviations from this behavior. For example, people do not click through the article or the social post you put up to lead them to your products page.
Step 3: Focusing on the deviations and channeling your marketing money and efforts in correcting these deviations. Dropping in a coupon or a testimonial in the article or a strong call to action in your social post that entices the customer to click through to your website or product pages.

It is very likely to confuse this framework to tripwire offer which is the process of using an offer that can generate revenues to offset the overall cost of acquiring your customer.

Side Note: Tripwire marketing helps you to reduce the subsidy cost of marketing (the cost of marketing to everyone especially to the ones who will convert anyway) making it more effective.

My favorite example of this subsidy cost is the Adwords spends on branded keywords. Leave your comments if you agree to disagree!

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